Liberation of Sexual Orientation
In response to the question of whether sexual orientation is more liberating when one considers it as something one is born with versus something that develops over time, I think the latter is more liberating. I believe so based on the fact that each person is unique in their lived experiences and shape themselves based on them. This is not to say that one bad or good experience with the same or opposing gender wholly dictates where one falls, but may influence their range on, for example, the Kinsey scale. Sexual orientation influences both the socially drastic and socially insignificant decisions; for example, going to a gay club when we identify as exclusively heterosexual or being comfortable enough to dress in drag as a form of expression.
In support of sexual orientation as something more liberating when viewed as changing over time, here's an example. In this (binary) scenario, let's say an individual, fe(male), goings off to war as a soldier. A fellow soldier of the same or different sex saves their life during combat. They develop mutual feelings of respect and appreciation for one another. Besides literally fighting for the sake of their own lives and for other soldiers, I suppose it stands to reason that some of the most influential, high-stakes decisions and actions are shared between these soldiers.
Now imagine regarding your own sexual orientation as something you're born with, again under the notion of the binary system (per the example). You have these feelings of appreciation for that person, but cannot act on them. You're barred from acting on your feelings or perhaps even from imagining a future together. Wouldn't this limit the threshold of your personal happiness? Just as opinions and feelings for people are fluid and change with interactions and experiences with them, so does sexual orientation.
However, pundits could argue that living one's life with one set, hard definition of their sexual orientation shapes their behavior so they can achieve the most (in or out) of society. Others may believe that their sexual orientation doesn't dictate their actions or capabilities, eliminating its influence. But sexual orientation is not always something in our control if we leave it alone. It's something we need to look at, regardless of whether we believe it's exclusively fe(male). Interactions with others occur without us being the main actor frequently. Take cat-calling, for example. An individual making remarks or comments about another person from the side of the road can subconsciously reinforce what either party (or even third parties) believe about their own sexual orientation. Individuals need to take an active role in deciding and updating their sexual orientation, even if it's unchanging, in order to remain the most liberated. I think of sexual orientation like water forming a path in the sand - the angle and strength of the wave pattern influences how the sand takes in the water.
That's why I find sexual orientation more liberating when viewed as something that develops over time.
Hi Marcel! I think this is a really interesting perspective. I'm always wary of the argument that sexual orientation develops over time, because many homophobic individuals will often cite this idea that sexual orientation is not inborn as justification for horrendous practices such as conversion therapy, and the idea that someone can be "turned gay". But, I think your take is incredibly nuanced and argues that sexuality can in fact be influenced by life experience, and that does not make it any less valid. I would clarify the argument further, and add that even if life experiences can influence and play a role in a person's sexuality, there are inborn biological factors and genetic dispositions that can impact a person's sexuality. I think the root of this question is related to the idea of nature vs. nurture, a question that biologists and philosophers have agonized over for centuries. As of now, the consensus in the biological community is that the question of nature vs. nurture itself is not important, because nearly aspects of human biology and life are a mixture of both. One of my favorite phrases in biology is that "genetics loads the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger". Both the bullet (genetics) and the trigger (environment) are key components, inextricably tied together and equal in importance and necessity for the shot to be fired (a person's sexual orientation).
ReplyDeleteI think the key to all of this is acknowledging that even if factors in a person's life can influence a person's sexuality, the important distinction to make is that another person or practice both cannot and absolutely should not attempt to change a person's sexuality in a direct way. Great post and great points!
Hi Marcel and Christina,
DeleteMarcel--I'd be curious to hear what you think of Christina's nature AND nurture take on sexual orientation. I love the phrasing of your penultimate sentence: "I think of sexual orientation like water forming a path in the sand - the angle and strength of the wave pattern influences how the sand takes in the water." It seems to me that this simile does admit an interpretation according to which the strength and direction of motion of the water (genetics?) and the patterns already in the sand (environment?) both contribute. Would it be less liberating to think of sexual orientation as something that is influenced by both?
I also wanted to pick up on something that Christina wrote: that one absolutely should not attempt to change a person's sexual orientation in a direct way. I'm wondering if attempting to change a person's sexuality is what is bad, the intent behind the attempt, and/or the ultimate effect of the attempt. I'm also wondering what would make an attempt sufficiently "direct" to be bad. Suppose Alice and Bob are good friends. Alice has learned that Bob does not personally know may out gay folks. Alice invites Bob to Zoom trivia night (because we can't have parties in a pandemic) with some of her own best gay friends who she thinks Bob will get along with swimmingly. My intuition is that it wouldn't be bad if becoming friends with that group himself contributed in some way to Bob's later coming out as gay--as in, Alice would have done nothing wrong by changing the course of Bob's life by inviting him to trivia. Would it have been bad if part of Alice's motivation for inviting Bob to trivia was to present him with opportunities that he might not otherwise easily have for reflecting on his own sexual orientation and for learning about the variety of orientations that folks have? Why? I would love to read your thoughts!
Take care,
Dr. Nora
If part of Alice's motivation motivation for inviting Bob to trivia was to present opportunities in order to encourage Bob to reflect on his own sexual orientation/learning about others, I think that is fine. Exposure to ideas does not always mean the adoption and incorporation of said ideas. For example, as a CA, we are taught that asking "are you suicidal" to an emotionally distressed person does not "put" the idea of suicide into their head. It most certainly inspires a brief, potentially shallow review of their feelings and thoughts, but it does not "push them over the edge" into becoming suicidal. I'd say that doubt is extremely useful in determining who you are, especially when it comes to the exploration, definition, or 'implementation' of one's gender.
DeleteHi Marcel!
ReplyDeleteI thought your post was very interesting. I thoroughly agree with your point that when a person hold back their true sexual orientation they limit the threshold of their personal happiness. Your point that "sexual orientation is not always something in our control if we leave it alone" made me take a second and think. I found it true because while some people try and continue living their lives without accepting their true sexual orientation, it still doesn't change. I have had a lot of friends in the LGBTQ+ community who struggled accepting who they were sexually attracted to, but felt liberated when they came to terms with their sexuality.
Hi Anastasia,
DeleteThank you! I have heard personal stories from friends who struggled for many years about coming out, dealing with reactions from family/friends/religious organizations, and their own self-image. It's sad to hear, but simultaneously fantastic to see a person embrace each aspect of themselves.